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Pannekoekenzaad.

Verrassend genoeg is dit woord het groen-gele boekje compleet ontgaan. Immers schrijft men het woord “pannenkoek” met een “n” in het midden. Laat u echter niet bedriegen door de Nederlandsche taal. Pannekoekenzaad wordt wel degelijk zonder “n” in het midden geschreven. Dit komt door de negatieve functie van de letter “n” in bepaalde context. De letter “n” kan soms op verschillende manieren behoorlijk vervelend uitpakken in een aantal woorden. Ook andersom kan de letter, indien vermeden, voor behoorlijk ongemakkelijke of juist satirische situaties zorgen. De letter “n” is in de jaren ‘60, ten tijde van de Dolle Mia’s ontworpen door een groep minderheden uit Kirgizië. Sinds die tijd staan zij dan ook bekend als de “Dolle Mina’s”.

Dit was de inleiding.

De zaden waarmee de echte pannenkoeken worden gesmeden komen uit een streek die zichzelf Nederland noemt (geen Frakrijk, eve voor de duidelijkheid). Vóór de jaren ‘60 stond deze plek nog bekend als Ederland. Maar na een groep minderheden uit Kirgizië heeft men de naam onder aandringen van Willem van Oraje Assau, zonder enig conflict, veranderd.

De reden waarom ik Frakrijk vermeld is omdat men daar alom bekend is met de “crêpe”. De accent circonflex is inmiddels door een kleine (ja, kleine) groep minderheden uit Bhutan afgeschaft. Dus wij zullen vanaf nu refereren aan de “crepe”. De reden waarom ik de crepe noem is vanwege het feit dat dit verrimpelde stuk vreten weleens – tot verveling aan toe- wordt verward met de pannenkoek. Crepes worden gemaakt van kreukels tarwemeel. Kreukels ja. Crepe komt van het Kirgizische woord crispa, wat “raar deegdeel met kreukels” betekent. Met de nadruk op raar.

In Nederland maakt men al jaren pannenkoeken, maar niet zonder gevaar. Pannekoekenzaad is namelijk bijzonder gevaarlijk spul. Daarom maken wij ze ook graag met spek en kaas. Of zelfs met kaas én spek. Ik leg straks uit waarom.

Pannekoekenzaad is enorm explosief onder de onjuiste temperaturen. Een graad te warm: BOTSBOEM!!! EEN GRAAD TE KOUD: KLETTERDEBOMBOEMBAM!!! Dit is waar de legende vandaan komt; de eerste pannenkoek mislukt altijd. In ZA is dit een ander verhaal. Daar lukken de pannekoeken altijd. Daar komt de significantie van de letter “n” bij kijken.

De tweede pannenkoek lukt meestal wel omdat spek de temperatuur verlaagt en kaas de temperatuur verhoogt. Hiermee kun je perfect de juiste temperatuur regelen. Geen zorgen als dit niet gelijk lukt. Het record aantal gesneuvelde keukens tijdens het pannenkoeken bakken is 13. Na enig onderzoek bleek dat men “kalkoenspek” had gebruikt. Hier is maar één reactie op mogelijk: ?

Na de jaren ‘60 hebben enige minderheden voor behoorlijk wat onheil gezorgd. Een synoniem voor pannenkoek was flesje. Na de jaren ‘60 werd dit “flensje”. Sindsdien weet men niet meer of je nu een flensje water besteld, een pannenkoek water of wellicht een flensje pannenkoek. Waar het altijd op uitkwam was een stad vol explosies. En vooral omdat de buren weer eens een flensje water bestelden bij de snackbar en vervolgens een doorweekte, ontplofte pannenkoek zonder kaas en spek kregen, mits zij de koolmonoxide vergiftiging overleefden.

Ok.

Doei…

Leuk feitje: in de Kirgizische taal bestaat heel de letter “n” niet eens! (Check s.v.p. de waarheid van dit statement).

Nog een!: in Afrikaans schrijft men nog gewoon “pannekoek”.

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