Lemon fried chicken breast with (wis) sticky rice and other things.
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Lemon fried chicken breast with (wis) sticky rice and other things.

Lemon fried chicken breast with (wis) sticky rice and other things.

DISCLAIMER

In geen gevallen zijn de personages gebaseerd op daadwerkelijke personen. Mits dit wel het geval LIJKT te zijn is dit puur abusievelijk en zonder enige intentie. Onnatuurlijke hoeveelheden zijn uiteraard niet zo overdreven, neem gewoon een goeie hoeveelheid bosui. Bosui is lekker. Ik woon zelf op 16 hoog in een flat.

Kipschnitzel maken.

Op rijst leggen.

Opeten.

Doei.

Grapje.

Ik laat wel weer even weten hoe het moet.

Grapje.

Beneudigdheden:

  • Kippenborst, in dunne plak gesneden, anders krijg je van die rammond dikke kipschnitzel en dat wil je niet want ik zeg dat.
  • Broodkruimels
  • Ei
  • Grapje
  • Bloem, geen lelie, dat gaat stinken
  • Sticky rijst van de toko
  • Bakkie gefrituurde ui
  • Bosui, niet gefrituurd
  • Gefrituurde Thousand Island saus
  • Toko heeft hopelijk ook gemaalde chili flakes (ground chili, komt uit Thailand)
  • Sesamzaad, gefrituurd
  • Zoud
  • Peper
  • Rozemarijn, gedroogd, niet van die vesse
  • Zelf nadenken.

Pak de bloem. Spreid uit over een plank. Pak de kip en smijt deze tantoehard op de plank met bloemen; totdat heel die kip compleet onder de bloemen zit. Loop de gang op, pak de fiets en de paraplu en doe het licht uit. Doe de achterdeur open en roep drie keer ¨de maiskolven doen me de das om!¨. Doe de voordeur dicht en ga via het raam naar buiten. Ga weer naar binnen via de voordeur, als je de sleutel meegenomen hebt. Pak je fiets en gooi de paraplu via de achterdeur naar buiten. Stap op de fiets en loop naar de dichtstbijzijnde fietsenstalling en doe het licht uit. Pak de kip en pleur ´m in het ei dat je net in een schaaltje geklopt hebt. Zeurg dat heel die kip vol met bloemen en eieren zit en leg ´m dan in de schaal met broodkruimels. Die schaal mag goed vol zitten met brookruimels, zout en rozemarijn. Draai de kip om en pak de paraplu. Roep naar de buren: ¨hou die merels bij je, mafkoekel!¨ Pan, goeie laag olie in zodat de kip ongeveer tot de helft in de olie legt. Vuur aan. Olie heet. Kip in. Omdraaien en niet zwart laten koken. Als kip dun genoeg is gesneden is ie zo gaar. Als dit niet het geval is, in de oven teffen totdat ie wel gaar is. Kip klaar. Rijst had je ondertussen wel kunnen koken. Volg de instrucies. Kom op. Pak de krant van eergisteren en loop naar de Jumbo aan de overkant van de straat. Als de Jumbo niet aan de overkant van de straat is, loop dan naar de buurman op nummer 7. Als je in een flat woont, kan je dit gerecht niet maken. Pff. Flatbewoners… ? Snijd een onnatuurlijke hoeveelheid bosui in ringetjes en zet aan de kant. Pak een kom, doe rijst in, strooi sesamzaad over. Geef snoep aan de hond. Zet de TV aan en kijk naar de radio. Giet Duizond Ijslandensaus over de rijst en pleur nu wat van die chili gear erover. Leg nu heel – met de nadruk op ¨heel¨ – voorzichtig de kip over de rijst, die je net in reepjes gesneden hebt. De kip. Niet de rijst. De rijst is al voorgesneden in reepjes door de buurman op nummer Jumbo. Sprankel er wat citroensap over. Leg de deurmat bij de buren voor de deur, zodat er niemand kan storen bij je, want nu denken ze, dat, jouw huis, bij, de buren is, ik gebruik graag, comma´s,. Dek af met een onnatuurlijke hoeveelheid bosui. Giet ook de gefrituurde ui erover en geef de bloemen aan de buurvrouw. Pak stokjes en eet met stokjes. Dit is Aziatisch eten ok? Jezus.

TURBODOEI!

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